Living vicariously, or not....

So, if you know us in real life, you know that Anna-Kate is about a carbon copy of me. We look a decent amount a like, but share a very similiar personality (and from what I keep hearing, she is just like I was at her age to boot). Guess that apple doesn't fall too far, huh?

Anyway, I was asked by the powers that be (at church) if Anna-Kate would open our huge Christmas program by doing the a solo (in a completely dark room with just a spotlight on her--can you imagine anything more precious?!?!?!?!) to "Happy Birthday Jesus". I was so proud (clearly, I understand this is not me they were asking to sing, but still. Whole "Mama Bear" thing I guess. I was proud.) I was told, "this can't be a 'probably' thing, she either has to say she's doing it and do it, or don't." I talked about solos in general all week. We watched the Rockettes on TV with friends and talked about dancing solos, we heard Christmas songs on the radio with singing solos...you get the picture. Anyway. Rubber meets the road. I said that if she wanted to she could have a special solo singing the happy birthday Jesus song and Mommy would sit right in front of her blah blah. She said, "I don't think that's a very great idea. I don't want to sing at morning church." I said, "well, it's for a nighttime singing." "Ooooh!" she said, "then I think I would like to do that. But only if you stand by me and hold my hand."

That clearly would not work. I am not a cute little three year old that would be the dramatic beginning to the show.

Can I tell you that it killed me to tell my music director no?

I know I did the right thing, not making her do something just because I wanted her to do it, but dangit, it would have been awesome...I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, so that I can try and complete a thought here, I vividely remember when I was younger (maybe 7?) and I desperately wanted a solo in my school (or church?) Christmas show. I got it, and then freaked. I remember being so scared and hating it. I desperately wanted to be in the spotlight and to get the attention, just couldn't handle the pressure, I guess. I think that's where she is.

So, maybe another year. Or, another kid. :)