Kaiser Insurance, a rant.

So I’ve been a slackin’.

I was in such a rage over our experience (s) with Kaiser Insurance, that I’ve been too annoyed to write it all down. But alas, the time to vent has arrived. Enthralled yet?

So, to get us all on the same page…Kaiser Permanente Insurance is cheap. (and, cheap is nice). However, with their insurance you can only go to their facilities and use their doctors and pharmacy. If you are thinking to yourself, “my, this sounds a bit like socialized medicine” you would be quite astute. Give yourself a pat on the back.

So, to recap on our Kaiser experience this year. Monday February 1, took Ryan in to the pediatrician at which time the doctor promptly said, “this albuterol probably isn’t going to work and we don’t keep what he needs on hand here. It tends to expire and isn’t cost efficient. You should probably just go to the hospital” (so why in the world was I told to come in??). Then, upon arriving at ER, the first words out of the doctors’ mouth were, “I can’t believe your pediatrician sent you here by car, he absolutely should have come to us by ambulance.” Sorta makes you lose a little faith in your doctor, no?

Alrighty, on to this past Monday. I had to take Anna-Kate in to the pediatrician to get her ears looked at (and unbelievably, the only doctor in the office that day was the same one as from the week before). I brilliantly decided to reschedule my OB appt (as it’s across the hall) and kill two birds with one stone. The kids were amazingly well behaved and Anna-Kate was so excited to get to hear the heartbeat! We were taken back and I asked the nurse if we could do a quick ultra sound instead of the dopler so the kids could see the baby. She said they were not busy and couldn’t imagine why that would be a problem, but to ask the doctor. So, when the doctor walked in, Anna-Kate said, “Mrs. Doctor, can I please see my baby brother in my mommy’s tummy, please?” It was very sweet. She looked at me and said, “How many weeks are you?” I told her 33 and she said, “Well, it’s not really worth my time. It’s just gonna be arm here, leg there kinda thing.” Seriously? It’s right there. Lie to me, tell me you can’t for insurance purposes, don’t tell me my kids and baby aren’t worth your time. I guess Anna-Kate didn’t hear or didn’t understand (as the doctor directed her answer to me) so she asked her again. The doctor looked at her and said, “sorry pumpkin, it isn’t really worth it to me right now.” I was highly peeved. Regardless, both kids got a huge kick out of hearing baby Jack’s heartbeat. Their faces were priceless as his strong (140 bpm) heartbeat filled the room.

We went across the hall for Anna-Kate’s 10:45 appointment. Then, we sat there until they called us back. At 11:47. (And, to be clear, there was only 1 other family in the waiting room, it was far from "slammed".) Who knows what germs we picked up. I wouldn’t let my kids move for fear they’d come down with something (as the well waiting and sick waiting are not in any way separated). They finally took us back (and Anna-Kate was a CHAMP and did great, which is big news for us, she usually flips out while they get her stats). The doctor from last week finally came in while holding Anna-Kate’s chart, and said, “Oh, I’ve seen you before right?” I replied yes, last Monday in fact. She said, “well what seems to be the problem with the little guy then?” I said, that we were here for his sister (again, she was holding Anna-Kate’s chart and looking at it). She looked in her left ear and said it was really bad, then looked in the right one and said she could see a bit of redness, but there was so much wax in there she couldn’t get a good view to see “how bad” it really was but that she suspected it was affecting her hearing because there was so much buildup. She said they usually clear it out when it's that bad but wasn't going to today. I asked if she would just go ahead and clean it out and she said, “well, we’re running really behind today (ya, I got that part) so it looks pretty loose, it’ll probably clean itself out eventually.” I expressed concern that it was affecting her hearing and she reiterated what she had just said. She typed up prescriptions and sent them downstairs to the pharmacy. I asked if they would be ready for pick up when I got there and she said yes that they’d received them already so just go get it.

I took Ryan to the bathroom then went to get the meds. I had to wait in the check-in line. When I was next in line the girl behind the counter changed counters and told me to move to the back of the line next to me. I looked at her like she had two heads as Ryan was twirling in circles around the line pole thing and Anna-Kate was sitting in the stroller holding her ear and crying that her ear hurt. When I finally got to the front of that line I said I was there to pick up ear drops. She said, “oh, let me pull that for you, it’ll just be a few minutes.” I said that the doctor told me it would be ready when I got there. She said, “well, we received it, but didn’t know you were in a hurry and it was priority.” Through gritted teeth I asked how long it would be and she said “20 minutes.”. It was 12:15 at this point and Ryan was saying he was hungry. So I put the kids in the car, drove down the street to Publix (who gives free amoxicillin) unloaded the kids, dropped off the prescription, took them to the deli, ate lunch, got a free cookie, went back, got the prescription, loaded them up, drove back to the doctor, unloaded them and went back in the pharmacy. My name was not on the board of filled prescriptions. I was breathing fire. It was1:20 and my kids were melting down from needing naps and ear pain, respectively. After 5 minutes of toe tapping I went and waited in line, again, and when I got to the front she asked if my name was on the board. I said no, but that she had told me twenty minutes and it had been over 1 hour and 20 minutes. She said, “oh, well look, it’s right here.” I believe there might have been literal smoke coming out of my ears. I had tears in my eyes I was so frustrated and angry. (oh, and Ryan at this point said, “pee pee Mama!” Of course, by the time we got the potty, he had just gone. Of course.) I paid for the prescription and was walking away when she told me I needed to wait and speak with the pharmacist for directions. I told her in no uncertain terms that I indeed could read directions and felt that ear drops were pretty self-explanatory, thankyouverymuch.

I had to transfer both kids to bed as they fell asleep in the car. I won’t write what happened next, it doesn’t have anything to do with Kaiser, but needless to say, it continued to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

(and if you want to chat with me about my soapbox why government healthcare is a horrible idea, I am quite willing. If Monday’s experience is where this country’s healthcare is headed, I want no part of that foolishness. Maybe I should just move to Australia?)

** Steps down off of soapbox (es). **