A taste of heaven

Today was a big day in our house. First, a year ago today, Anna-Kate asked Jesus to live in her heart. We celebrated her "birthday" as a princess of the King today. We are so proud of her sensitive heart to Jesus and are so thankful (though, upon hearing about her "birthday" she said, "so, do I get treats now?").

However, what has been most on my mind, was little Ryan's exploratory surgery today. I about made myself sick worrying about it Tuesday and Wednesday. I had an absolutely gripping fear that he wasn't going to wake up from the anesthesia. Chris literally had to pray with me about Ryan being the Lord's. It is a scary, scary thing to open your hands to the Lord and acknowledge His ultimate sovereignty and release your child, fully trusting the Lord (although, with or without my acknowledgement it is that way). I was scurrying around last night and went to sleep late. We had to leave our house at 6:30 (that's early for us!). When I woke this morning I wasn't nervous. Every so often I got a little fear in my heart, but overall, I was absolutely surrounded by a peace. I received so many emails, texts and phone calls from friends and family. I cannot begin to express the encouragement that it was to me. The body of Christ is truly beautiful. There have been only a couple of times in my life when I can definitively say that I could really feel prayers and being upheld by the Father. This morning was one of those times, and it was sweet, a taste of what heaven will be like.

Ryan was sweet and cuddly as we waited for his 9 am surgery time. We watched shows together (he was thrilled that Dinosaur Train came on!). They gave him something to make him loopy and it was like he was drunk--hilarious. We couldn't help but laugh as he swayed and his eyes couldn't focus (side note, he refused to wear a pullup and I decided I didn't care enough to force it. He did great and hasn't had an accident in forever--including today). They started to wheel his little bed away and he reached for me, but was too out of it to fuss. I cried, and quietly we prayed for our boy.

The surgery was supposed to be 45 minutes, but the doctor came back about 30 minutes later. All had gone very well, Ryan was in recovery where they were waking him up (I didn't like not being there when they woke him up, but wasn't give a choice in the matter). Dr. N. brought pictures of Ryan's airways and bronchials--which are anatomically perfect. At first I was bummed--there is no solution but to be aware of his tendency to stridor and treat it with steroids. He cuddled with me and drank juice, slushies and water. We gave him a new train, Gordon, for being so brave. Ryan was not amused with his IV--but was able to keep everything down, so we were discharged pretty quickly.

As we walked to the car, and I carried my sweet cuddly boy, we walked past a waiting room of sick kids. Not flu sick--cancer, broken bone, really sick, sick kids. My heart hurt for all of the mamas I saw. I chided myself for dreading this surgery like I did--they were probably looking forward to their childs' surgery as it was life or death. We only have to carry steroids with us wherever we go, that's it. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and hugged my boy a little tighter.

To all who prayed for us, thank you.

In the waiting room:



Post loopy drug, right before being taken back for the procedure.



He absolutely hated the iv. Can you blame him? He kept saying, "take off, I no like this!"



Clearly, he was happy to get Gordon.



I know this is gross, and I can't even remember what all it is right now--these are the pictures taken during his operation. The top left is the upper airway, the bottom ones are the top and in his bronchials I believe (Matt, these are for you. :) ).



One of my favorite verses that was sent to me today is Zephaniah 3:17, which, incidently, is Ryan's favorite song ("Mighty to Save"). "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He wil quiet you with His love, He will rejoie over you with singing." (thanks, Emily!).