I just realized this morning.....today is my brothers' birthday. He would be 24 today. Not sure if I am so emotional because I'm getting older, because I am a mother now and my heart breaks for my own mothers' heart, or that I'm currently listening to "Cinderella" by Stephen Curtis Chapman...or a combination of all. My mom always said I would have to revisit his death when I had children of my own...surprising, I doubted that at the age of 12, but here I am 27 and she was right...funny how parents' get smarter the older we get.
I think that "because I am a mother now" wins out in my emotional struggle today. I look at my own precious babies and cannot possibly fathom how I could live one minute without either of them. Many times I have prayed and begged God to not make me walk that road...while I know He gives strength for what He gives us, I don't want to find that kind of strength within me. I guess I'm just realizing how short and how amazingly precious life truly is and the incredible strength and faith in the Lord my own parents had/have...what a testimony to them and to our Lord.
I'm not really sure who, if anyone, reads this blog.....but if you do read this, hug your babies a little tighter today and make sure to tell your family just how much you love them and appreciate them. Life is too short....savor ever moment.
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2 comments:
Oh, Janelle. I forgot to call your Mom....we were on a trip, and I failed to check my daytimer. I call every year...I still miss him. It's odd to remember him forever trapped at 10 in our memories, while Matt ages to 23. The two are forever linked in our family, and we'll never cease to remember him, and miss him.
Just thought I'd catch up on your blog as I ate lunch. I hope no one wants to come into my office for a while. My eyes don't look too presentable just now. I love you.
Mom
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