Weeding

So I've lately been feeling stretched too thin (though sadly, I am not referring to my figure), tired, cranky, and over-busy. The craft fair about did me in. I feel like I hardly saw my kids last week. I committed to going to the zoo last Friday(which, incidently, I had a good time, as did my kids) but, as I was driving there I just kept thinking, "why am I doing this? I have a list a mile long of things to do and going to the zoo is the last place I want to be going right now." Ironically, the friend I met at the zoo left a comment on my blog that said something about gardens thriving the best when they are weeded. Oh Heather, you are so right! So I spent the weekend thinking about how I can scale back without withdrawing, (because we all know I can't do that!) how I can spend more quality time with my kids while still making their friends (and my own) a priority. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't get very far. Secondly, and here's where we are evidently going to become very close, I haven't been spending time with the Lord regularly lately. I'm just always so tired that the idea of getting up early in the morning is beyond my scope. You know what? I've found myself more irritable and with less patience for my kids (which I'd conveniently blamed on hormones, the pregnancy, blah, blah, blah). Last week I had neglected my house cleaning to get stuff ready, plus the daily busy-ness, that when I came home from the craft fair I walked in to a dusted, swiffered and mopped downstairs. I started to cry when I saw it. (Isn't Chris wonderful? But, it was so humbling).

Enter my Bible study. As I was reading through tonight's lesson in the book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, (I had quickly skimmed it before, but the good read in preparation for tonight) the opening lie was that, "I don't have time to do all the things I'm supposed to do". Bam. I read on, Jesus said (on the cross, Jn 17:4) "I have glorified Thee on earth: I have finished the work which Thou gavest me to do". Then she said it, spiritual freedom, "That is the secret. He didn't finish everything the multitudes wanted him to do. But He did finish the work that God gave Him to do. The truth is that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me...the frustration comes when I attempt to take on responsibilities that are not on His agenda for me." So I prayed about that and went to read on to the next section of the chapter.

You won't believe it, the next lie she discussed? "I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer". Seriously?? The thing that kicked harder about this lie, yesterday at church my pastor, who is preaching through the book of Revelation, was speaking on chapter 3 and hit on verses 15 and 16, you know, "I know your deeds, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm...I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Ouch. David in Psalms talks about "rising before dawn" to "direct prayer unto Thee". Hitting.close.to.home. Then the book said it, "That (thinking I don't need prayer/quiet time) independent, self-sufficient spirit is an expressions of pride." And we all know how God feels about that.

The last lie for the chapter was about being a wife and mother. Here's where, in my life, it was driven home, "while many 'perfect jobs' [or, opportunities] may come and go during the childrearing years, only one will absolutely never come along again--the job of rearing your own children and allowing them the increasingly rare opportunity to grow up at home."

So, if you need me, I'll be "weeding my garden" and trying to spend more quality time with my kids.