Wednesday, August 26, 2009

*The* OB story...it's a good one

As I mentioned yesterday, the story of my first appointment would only happen to me.

It was Chris' birthday, we had a big breakfast, (well, everyone but me, sigh.)dropped Anna-Kate off at school, then took Ryan with us to the OB (he was just starting to get that cold--that led to the bronchiolitus, but we didnt' know if it was something contagious or not at that point. anyway). We got there, waited a little bit and were taken back to meet the midwife. I thought I was being brilliant when I wore a little cotton dress, you know, easy access for the ultrasound (it was a 1st trimester one...therefore internal, not the one on the belly).

Well, as I had not had "that" appointment since Ryan's birth I was told to completely undress for a full physical etc. Super. So there we are, all crammed in a little exam room, me, Ryan, Chris, midwife, tech...had the ultrasound and everything looked perfect, then began other part. I hear "click, click" (boys, if I'm losing you, either ask your significant other, or choose to be blissfully unaware of what that is) and then, about 10 seconds later this very loud alarm. I said, "that isn't a fire alarm is it?" and, as if in a movie, the door to the exam room goes flying open and a nurse yells, "Kate (the midwife) get outta here, this is NOT a planned fire drill, this alarm was actually pulled, get outta here!". I guess I don't need to tell you that the shock of that entry was enough to jostle the doctor in her work down there. Cozy. The midwife said, "I'm gonna hurry and finish this so we don't have to come back to this" (In my head, "uh ya, this is so not happening again for another year +, thanks!"). Right about then a doctor throws open the door (side note, seriously? what if I had been standing there naked instead of lying on a table in a "drape"??) and said, "Kate, let's go, get out of here!". So she jumps up, threw my clothes at me (literally, threw them) and told me she'd wait in the hallway for me. I threw on my clothes and ran out psuedo-clothed and ran down the stairs.

*Side note* Ryan had gotten fussy so Chris had taken him out to walk, so I had no idea where they were.

So we ran down the back stairway (of course we were on the 3rd floor). I finally found Ryan and Chris (poor guy had to carry Ryan in his stroller down the 3 flights of stairs), and there we sat. For 30 minutes. About 5 minutes in, I looked down and saw a glob of, uhhh, a gooey substance on my leg. EWWWWWW! I had rushed out of the room so fast there had been no time for wiping off ultrasound stuff etc. (Sorry to include, but wanted to remember the awfulness of that day). Finally, the firemen cleared the building and we all headed back to the 3rd floor. We get back in the exam room and start going through my medical history. My midwife apoligized saying she could count on one hand the times there had been a fire drill/alarm in the 12 years she had been there when, lo and blasted behold, the fire alarm went off. Again. (No, I'm not kidding.). We trooped back down the stairs, only this time I had the hilarious fortune to get to watch Chris schlep the stroller + Ryan down the stairs (who was crying because I had taken his box of raisins so they wouldn't spill and the added bonus of a very loud alarm). We finished my medical history leaning against my van. (Again, not kidding). Chris had to go to work (it was after 11!) so he left and I told the midwife I was just going to leave. She said I could, but would have to come back the following week for bloodwork. ugh, not worth it, so I went in to the lab.

They took seven viles of blood. Seven. And not the little ones, the big ones. Ryan started crying (I felt like it)--can't blame him, he'd been in the stroller almost 2 hours. I started feeling really hot and a bit sweaty and asked for a glass of water, the nurse looked up and shouted, "She's gonna faint!" and the whole room burst into a frenzy. One nurse started pointing all of the fans on me, another ran for some water and another tried to lean me back and keep me in the chair. (I did not faint. Thankfully). So when I got my color back the nurse (probably late 50's larger black woman) said, "so when you due girl?" I said, "oh, not until March, I'm just really bloated and icky right now." She said, "Oh, you must be one of those girls that just gets real big real fast." (For the how many'th time...no, not kidding). I said, "well, I choose to look at it as a blessing, people know I'm pregnant and don't just think I'm fat. Plus, I usually pop quickly, but the growth slows." Her response? "Well I sure hope your growth slows!".

Unbelievable. Lucky me, I get to spend the next year with these people. Yippy.

My mantra, "it'll all be worth it when I hold me new baby, it'll all be worth it."

10 comments:

Sara said...

Oh my goodness! You need to write a book. So those were just drills? How crazy. When I got my blood taken with Reid I passed out cold. I hate getting that done. And yes, they do take A LOT of blood. Seems like it goes on forever!

Katie said...

Seriously, I laughed so hard at this story I had tears! Too funny Janelle! Of course I would not be laughing at the time but at least in hind sight it's hilarious!! Thanks for sharing!

Chris said...

That's TMI... and i was there...

Michael and Andrea plus Baby Dawg said...

I love your life. Its so entertaining for me.

The Bartons said...

haha- hilarious! i would have DIED if i was spread eagle and the door flew open......twice.
poor thing. still doesn't make up for a blog announcement. i'll forgive you......someday :)

Anonymous said...

Janelle, you have a way with writing! I know the experience was anything BUT funny while you were there (and for that, I'm so sorry!) but reading the story had me laughing out loud. ;) God bless you!!! Here's hoping the next appointment is smooth & uneventful...AND, of course, I'm so happy everything looked good w/ the babe. :)

Jenny

The Levy's said...

ok - so if I didn't know you as well as I think I do, I would have totally said this was out of a movie - not a REAL LIFE STORY! Oh my - maybe a new OB is in your near future?

Liz said...

Oh boy Janelle! Well you have the first story for #3s baby book, it's a good one!

Holbie said...

Congrats on the pregnancy. Your story is like something that would happen to me.

Jonesey said...

Congratulations!

That is quite a story and you've had quite a week!

Hang in there!