Boundaries and Filters

As a preface to this post, I recognize the fact that I've been smaller in my life, and I by no means think I am God's gift to the world.

OK, now that we're clear.

When one is 30+ weeks pregnant (or, any pregnant...) one does everything one can to look cute and pulled together. (Of course). I went to church yesterday feeling as cute as possible and somewhat pulled together. (You know where this is going, right?)

A friend (bless her heart) walked up behind me as I was holding Ryan and said, "Ryan?". I turned around and she said, "Oh Janelle, I thought that was Ryan but you don't look pregnant from behind and I was wondering if that was Ryan or who he was with." Again, God bless you Lucy.

I was walking out of service and saw a woman with a huge grin walking towards me. I have never in my life laid eyes upon this woman, but she was so excited looking to talk with me that I walked up to her. She violated my personal space touched my belly, then proceeded to say, "so you should have that baby soon, huh?" I said, "well, 2 more months." "Oh, really? Wow, must be a big baby in there!" I said, "well, it's a boy and my son was 8.10 when he was born..." (as I looked for a way to leave the conversation...) "I guess they ruled out that it was twins? Though, you look big enough for it to be twins." I said, "well, it is my third." To which she responded, "Oh yes, well I guess you are all stretched out then, huh?" At that point, I said I needed to get to Sunday school and walked away. Thankyousomuchforyourthoughtsonthatone, lady!

Rule # 1 violation, boundaries. If I do not know you, do not touch my belly. It is not sweet nor is it endearing. In fact, it makes me annoyed. Do you want me to touch your belly?

Rule # 2 violation, filter. Something I am teaching my three year old, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. Another gem I learned from childhood, and am passing on to my kids, isthe question, "is it true, kind and necessary? If it's not all three, don't say it". I don't care if in your generation it was only recommended to gain 12 pounds during pregnancy (and, by the way, I've gained 16, it's not like I'm totally tipping the scales here!). Your opinion on my size is not wanted.

On my way to Sunday school, I ran into a girlfriend I hadn't seen in a few weeks who said, "Janelle, you look fantastic, I can't believe you aren't bigger!" (to be clear, this was no more than 2 minutes after the previous conversation I'd just had).

As I walked into Sunday school, I spoke with another woman who asked if it was a boy or girl then acted shocked when I said boy and responded with, "wow, I would have bet that was a girl the way you are carrying." I didn't ask what she meant by that, but isn't it what "they say" that if you swallow a basketball it's a boy and if you swallow the whole basketball court it's a girl? That's been the case for me, I thought.