Feeling high on my horse today. I took all three kids on 4 errands--and there were no tears or tantrums.
The thing that caused me to blog, was my frustration about a super sceezy (is that a word?) loiterer/man asking for money. He was (allegedly) a WWII veteran who needed $.72 to add to what he had to buy a meal. My gut instinct was to ignore him as he walked up to me in a parking lot with my three kids (only half of whom where in the car). Is it sad that my first though (other than, "really, people still carry cash?") was that if I went for the $.72 he would grab my whole wallet? I told him I had no cash and he rolled his eyes at me and said, "whatever", eyed me and he walked away.
My frustration is this. 1.) I felt sorry for him, but was more scared of him than sorry for him. 2.) My second thought was, "if you got a job at McDonalds, you could eat for free." 3.) Annoyed with myself that my first thought wasn't to be generous and give to him.
So, my question is, what do you do when a homeless person asks for money (or if you never have beenasked--where do you live--but what would you do?).
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9 comments:
give, give, give...no question. Matthew 25:40 haunts me (as it should)
In that situation - don't give. He saw you were overloaded and you getting out your wallet in a parking lot seems kind-of "iffy". I would have done the same. Say a prayer for him and God understands, especially in this situation where you feel unsafe and feel your kids might be at risk. There's a book series called "Same Kind of Different as Me" and "What difference do it make?" Both may really help you to determine what to do in this situation.
I would also say give whenever you can and are able in safe situations. Trust the Holy Spirit to move you! :) That's my two cents!
It would have been different if he was $.72 short in line at Chick-fil-a or the grocery store. Sure, help him! But you are very vulnerable in a parking lot, and rightly concerned. It would be a different situation if Chris were there with you. An honorable man shouldn't approach a woman alone or with her young children. However, you could carry some fast food meal coupons if you wanted to be prepared to help someone in need. (Many times people like that are seeking drug money rather than money for food. By giving him a coupon, he could be fed without money going for the wrong thing.) In that case, I would have my children in their car seats; crank the car; lock your door; then hand him a coupon through the partially lowered window. You have to be alert and not reveal your wallet. Sad that you have to be so careful these days. (Keep in mind being "shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves" Mt. 10:16b.) Remember that your children are watching you and you are training them--so you must communicate a combination of wisdom and compassion.
wow! that's hard. definitely pray but i would have not reached either. i keep change in the car but reaching for that would have left me totally vulnerable. one time i told a man to wait and got in my car locked it then gave him money through the window. But your safety and your kids safety comes first. I feel annoyed with myself all the time when I don't give to homeless because I feel as if maybe they really need it and maybe it is not drugs.
I found your blog link through someone else's and have followed along as a fellow embroiderer and lover of monograms. :)
I was approached while taking my baby into Target just this spring. It was raining off and on and the man said he needed a couple more dollars to buy a tarp to stay dry. I offered to buy him a tarp while I was in Target and bring it back out to him. I have often been told it's better to meet the need than just give money as you don't know where the money is actually going. Unfortunately, I had trouble finding a tarp and he was gone when I came back out. I don't know if someone else gave him a few dollars or if he really just wanted $$ for something else. I felt bad that he might have thought I just made up a story about getting him a tarp, but was reminded the Lord knows my heart and that I really intended and tried to help. But my husband and I have a policy of getting what they need instead of giving cash. The food coupons are a great idea, too.
I don't give money. But, if I'm near a fast food restaurant, I will always offer to buy them a meal. Every time I've done that, they say no and walk away. This tells me that they don't really need food. My sister carries water bottles with $5 McDonalds gift cards rubberbanded around it. She also gets a lot of people turning them down.
"Blog-stalker Leigh" here, friend of Angela's. Growing up in the ATL makes you a little cynical, but you have to go with your gut. I always remind myself that we give at church and to other places that help people when I feel guilty for not pulling my wallet out in front of a stranger.
I've given food before, and picked up grocery store gift cards. I don't give to every homeless person I see though. You DO have to be very careful (sadly) and with children in tow, even more so in my opinion. I always pray for the Lord's leading. I've even gone into a store to buy food for homeless folks and given it to them (in lieu of money) on the way back home. That way, I am prepared to help out, but not giving money that might not be used properly. It's a tough call.
Jenny
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